Communicating with your Spouse about Money

Talking about money is one of the great taboos of our culture (talking about sex is the other). Think about it, if you are like most of us your parents did not talk to you about either of them. For many it is quite difficult to talk about money. Perhaps it is because we have different values, attitudes, and goals about money – we think and feel differently about money.

Money or talking about money can bring up feelings of fear, anxiety, guilt, anger. Negative emotions most of us like to avoid so instead we avoid talking about money with our spouses until it explodes in a financial disaster or a relationship meltdown. It’s been estimated that money issues are the driving force in 90% of divorces. Managing money is already difficult enough with just one person, then you add another person, it can make a good situation bad and a bad situation worse. I just cannot stress enough the importance; it is absolutely necessary that you communicate with your spouse about money! Here are some tips to help you and yours talk about money.

Money Meetings

Have a weekly, biweekly, or monthly money meeting. In this meeting, you will sit down with your spouse and budget your income for the period, weekly, biweekly, or monthly. You will also want to review spending and financial goals. Both of you need to know how much money it takes to run your household and you can be accountable to each other to stick to the plan. Furthermore, it can be fun working together and finding ways to manage your money better can become something of a game, and as you get better at it you’ll both reap the rewards.

Another task at the money meetings is to plan your financial future. So any goals or ideas that you have for your money should be discussed at this time. It is vital that you are completely honest with your partner. As the two of you become more accustomed to talking about money and you get into the habit of having the meetings they will become easier.

Schedule time to Talk

Set a specific time to sit down and discuss your finances. And be prepared ready to talk about finances. Have an agenda of what you will cover and how. Go over each spending category, look at how much you spent, figure out if you can cut back on something in the coming month, and check in about how that fits into the big-picture money goals.

Be Nice

Keep emotions off the table. You may already be upset or angry. Do not attack each other over mistakes that are, hopefully, in the past. Try to understand each other, listening to your partner’s views on money. You need to try to understand why your partner does what they do with money. Additionally, you need to be prepared to explain why you do what you do with money. Volunteer your feelings about a financial issue so that it may encourage your partner to do the same thing. Share your feelings, experiences, and hopes about money.

Keep Notes

Keep note of what is discussed at the money meetings. Discuss how you are doing and make notes together of how you will try to do better next time. Additionally, write down future goals and plans and keep track of shared goals that you developed. In that way, you can refer to your notes, and compare performance to your financial goals.

Article by Wil G.

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