Ever since being plunged into the ocean of personal finance blogs, one thing that rings true from person to person is that the way a person looks at money can not be entirely separated from character development. Either one’s outlook towards money is framed by their existing character, or what they want from their money has begun to frame their character. Not only that, but I’ve come to realize an even greater truth – ANY time a person embarks on a journey that takes them out of their comfort zone and leads toward a worthwhile goal, the question of character comes into play. There are lessons to be learned about who we are as we enter a new challenge, and who we need to become in order to succeed. And if we pay close enough attention it will not always be brand new lessons, but new opportunities to be better exercised in things we’ve come across many times before!
Can Hair Teach A Lesson? A Short Background On Transitioning
Four months ago I began a brand new journey – a healthy hair journey. Like many women of African descent I used a chemical relaxer on my hair for many years to straighten it. For the first time since childhood, I’ve decided to stop relaxing my hair and care for it in its natural state. My main motivation for this is for health reasons, as there is some research showing the harmful effects of using such chemicals. Many women choose to cut off all their relaxed ends, leaving very little hair on their scalp, which allows them to start from scratch with their natural hair. Others take a different approach where they manage their new, un-relaxed hair, along with the existing relaxed hair. This second method, which I chose to take, is appropriately called transitioning.
Anyone who has transitioned to natural can tell you that it is no easy task. Working with two textures of hair is difficult because their needs are different and essentially as strong hair grows in, the older hair becomes weaker and weaker. Then the line of demarcation, where the two textures meet, is the most fragile point and many women experience breakage there – causing them to cut their hair prematurely. So, it is necessary to take the most delicate and intricate care with my hair for the next two years of my transition to make sure it stays healthy as it grows.
In choosing to transition, I’ve realized that it is necessary to adjust my behavior so that I can do it successfully. In fact, I have found the same strengths in character needed for both my healthy hair and my financial ventures. Here are the top 3 lessons that I have found to be re- emphasized and strengthened as I progress.
The Lessons from Hair Transitioning
1. Discipline
Most of the mistakes I’ve made so far have come from a lack of discipline. A part of being disciplined is relaying to your brain that your ‘right now’ moments are not as urgent as they like to seem.
As I explained, with my hair, everything takes a great degree of care and as a result, a great degree of time. So ‘right now’ (which is all the time) I’d rather be doing anything else besides conditioning or detangling, or moisturizing whatever my scalp and hair needs! As far as financially, eating out is the hugest ‘right now’ issue I struggle with! A lot of times if we are out of the house, all of a sudden I need to eat right at that moment or I believe I will die of starvation!
For anyone who is struggling with ‘right now’ syndrome as a hindrance to being disciplined, there are a couple tips that will help you along the way. First, it is helpful to be accountable to someone, whether it’s a spouse or the whole world – via blog or social network, knowing that there is a support system as well as someone to whom you have to answer is a great tool to keep you going. Another great tool is the internet – it is hard to find a topic that someone isn’t blogging about! Seeing someone else’s progress is a great reminder moment by moment that you can stay on track and keep going.
2. Endurance
Many have heard the lesson from Aesop’s fable The Tortoise and the Hare, “Slow and steady wins the race.” Well, it was true hundreds of years ago and it is still true today. In both my journeys, the one fact that is unavoidable is that there is no quick fix, magic pill, or genie that will end my processes tomorrow. What I am experiencing will be of some duration, and in case the point hasn’t hit home yet, sometimes the lessons learned during the journey make the whole experience worthwhile! The fact is – discomfort isn’t easy, and change isn’t comfortable. So, the best thing to do is strap yourself in, set your eyes on the prize while taking it one hurdle at a time.
One of the best examples of this that I have watched on occasion is The Biggest Loser. As a viewer, week to week you get to see someone transform from a bawling, whining, unhealthy person, unable to walk 10 steps, into a lean, mean, athlete! You see the struggle and lack of confidence, and the way it can all turn around. That change can only take place from the inside out; it is a daily decision to endure that is then manifested in the outward results.
3. Moderation
In the hair circles many refer to themselves as PJs or ‘product junkies’. When dealing with a new journey, it’s easy to get caught up in finding – and spending way too much money on – the best, newest, and most promising products to help achieve your goals. And as a newbie to any journey, you are most likely to listen to any voice that seems successful at what you are trying to achieve!
In debt reduction circles, whether it’s Dave Ramsey, or Suze Orman – people like to see examples of people who are where they want to be. Not only that, but we want to know what steps it took for them to get there so what can take those same steps! The problem is, from the ‘average Joe’ success story to the celebrity-type, when they are all selling books, tapes, DVDs, and podcasts offering the secrets to their success, it can be overwhelming! Not to mention, everything doesn’t work for everyone and let’s be honest, everyone is not willing to DO the exact things as someone else to get to the same destination.
This is where it is important to stay true to your specific goals and outward influences that suit what you are trying to accomplish. It is not beneficial to jump on every bandwagon, and honestly, the exhaustion from this can be a source of discouragement. It’s just like Thanksgiving meal, there’s a lot of food there, but that doesn’t mean you have to eat it all. And it certainly doesn’t mean it’s all good for you!
What character building or reaffirming lessons have you come across in trying to improve yourself?
How do you overcome issues of discipline, endurance, or moderation?
Article by Sher K.
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Great article. I totally agree with Moderation, I currently am transitioning my hair and while I appreciate all the advice I get, I’m a simple kinda gal, and I will not get caught up in PJ or having to TRY everything that someone suggests to me that worked for them. Stay strong….YOU can do it!
Thank you for writing this. I will bookmark it and come back to it in my moments of right now.
I, myself, have been natural for almost 4yrs. I have never been into the curl that or kinky this and that. I’m very simple when it comes to the things I put in my hair but I do love conditioners. Other than that, I don’t really use anything except olive oil, coconut oil, sweet almond oil, veggie glycerin and water (not necessarily all at the same time lol). I don’t feel one needs all of those products to maintain healthy hair and I just choose not to use them. With that said, slow and steady is the way to go and continue to stay patient. Don’t lay a bunch of expectations on your hair, just take and ACCEPT it as it comes. Tony’s curls may not be what your curls will look like or Donnah’s hairstyle may be one you will never be able to recreate. Just take your time falling in love with what the most high gave you and you’ll be fine, I personally believe this is the hardest part of the journey for most women.
Have to agree, great article. Personally I haven’t overcome my “right now moments.” But I realize as I go through life, and look for ways to improve myself, as of right now I’m learning to pay myself first, this step is helping me to think about other things a lot differently in regards to a healthy and debt-free future.
I went natural during pregnancy. I cut the perm out and started from scratch. Loved it. The natural look lasted a for a time then I wanted a change, again. It’s what I do. Planning on cutting it off again next year arount this time. Thanks for the article. Much success during your transition.
And the fact that women place so much of their own personal style into their hair only complicates the problem that much more. One thing that might help women suffering from hair loss is to know that they are not alone. But what will help women even more is the knowledge that there are many reasons for hair loss.
Fascinating article. Thank you for sharing your story. Once the transition is over I’m sure will see other benefits you didn’t anticipate. I’m a bit more organized because of my financial journey.
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